I guess like this and I’ll follow you.
I feel like I was the only one in the movie theater who felt bad for Edward in Eclipse when Jacob and Bella kissed.
I honestly love Edward as a character. He could be ugly and i would totally still love him as a character. There are so many things i could say about edward its ridiculous. My friends tell me he’s manipulative and he’s controlling and he’s way over protective. And i always shake my head at them. Its just sort of a personal thing for me. I tend to look way into characters in literally everything, every fandom if i like the character its probably because i can relate to the character. And i can relate to Edward. A lot, actually. I didn’t think that was possible, but its true. For me, he walked into this vampire state depressed, and then he meets Bella. He experiences love, and he experiences how fucking painful it is. He gets glimpses of it because he can read people’s mind but never got to experience it himself. Throughout the books you honestly see him progress. Yeah, he questions who he is, who he became. He hasn’t even accepted himself. The reason why he thought he had to leave in New Moon is to keep Bella safe, and well to keep himself safe. When you’re in love its a strange and crazy thing. And Edward having not even knowing what it feels like for literally years, its surprising. He’s controlling because he cares and he doesn’t know how to handle it. I know, i sound like an idiot. But here’s the thing, he never hit Bella. He never told Bella she was ugly. He never said anything actually mean to her, he never even laid a finger on her when he was angry. That is NOT abusive behaviour. I can honestly say that because I myself HAVE been in a abusive relationship. And Edward he really does care. Manipulative? No. Not even close. In Eclipse, that was the book that i could relate to through Edward. When you love someone and that someone kisses and ends up realising that they love that certain someone not only is that a fucking slap to a face, but its also a trip. You just witnessed YOUR LOVE OF YOUR LIFE kiss your enemy. And you know damn well that they enjoyed it. I feel like I’m the only one who actually pities Edward during that. One, because ive been there. Two,he honestly doesn’t even care about himself. Edward just wants bella happy. That is my theory on love. If you love someone, you just want them happy no matter what. Its like your happiness doesn’t even matter anymore. That’s how Edward is. He even explained that to Jacob in the tent scene. And i know, Jacob is a sixteen year old boy, right. But still. He shouldn’t he said he was going to get himself killed battling the new borns. He was basically just saying that to get Bella to realization point. Its not clever; its fucking stupid. If Jacob really loved Bella he wouldn’t yell at her, and tell her he wished she was dead. I mean, seriously? If i ever told the guy i loved that he would have honestly just fucking left me and never come back. But then again, its different. So. In saying that. I know what it feels like to be in that position Edward is in. He loves bella. And he’s selfless about it. For me it was like, he finally got happy, and it all spat in his face when she kissed Jacob in Eclipse. And also knowing the fact that Bella loves Jacob like that, even if its not as much as Edward. He is a broken character, and that’s why I love Edward. He has his flaws, his insecurities, his own heartache…. he’s relatable.
And pretty good looking. haha.
A lot of people asked me why I liked these books so much a while back, and i never could give them an answer without them bashing me. And as i think about it, I know why i liked them so much. Back when i started to read Twilight and the rest of the books i liked it cause it gave me an escape. Things at my house weren’t so good. I was really depressed and i did a lot of crazy crap, and when i read these books, it was like an escape from the madness that was forming around me. It took me to a place where i went and i could just live in another persons head. It was so much easier doing that then living in reality. It didn’t hurt as much. That’s why i loved the books so much. It gave me an escape when things were falling apart.
And I remember everything,
Everything I loved,
I gave it away like it wasn’t enough.
All the words I’ve said,
And all you forgive,
How could I hurt you again?